"On Sunday, 24th April 2005, we sent out a small army
of "Mystery Worshippers" into London's churches. These holy spies
reconnoitred 70 services in the English capital, checking how hard
the pews are, the length and quality of the sermon, strength of the
coffee and warmth of the greeting. Many of our readers are
dedicated pew warmers, and were excited to accept the challenge,"
says Simon Jenkins, editor of shipoffools.com, the Christian
internet news site behind the project. Each of the mysterious spies
left a card depicting a lone masked rider – the only
sign for the churches that they had been examined by the service
testers. The results were published on 10th May. Here's
a selection of what London's churches have to offer, compiled by
Assist News Service's Michael Ireland:
- rhythmic snoring during the (silent?) prayer time;
- four old women on the back pew, criticising the pastor;
- an immediate invitation to join the choir;
- passionate singing of the Vatican national hymn;
- "We'll be back in a moment" – a service with a commercial
break;
- a barking dog, accompanying the sermon for a full 52
minutes;
- a 2½-hour service, with a sermon by a (female) preacher
who spoke for a long time, said nothing and finally collapsed of
excitement (or exhaustion?);
- being discovered in a Puritan church and escorted out;
- no coffee – but Champagne!
- fleeing made impossible by pews which close automatically once
you're seated;
- in one church, visitors were greeted by attractive young
women;
- a Catholic church which didn't even mention the new Pope;
- a church which welcomed the 'spy' so intensely and successfully
that he was the last one to leave…
Do you want to know more? www.shipoffools.com has the full
reports.
Source: Simon Jenkins, Steve Goddard, publisher of www.shipoffools.com
